The Proximity Crush: Why You Only Love What’s Familiar

close up photo of man kissing woman
Photo by Avonne Stalling on

One of my favorite shows is the “The Office” , I watch this show religiously mainly because it is hilarious but also because it is real!  One of the main characters on the show Jim falls in love with his co-worker Pam. The two worked inches away from each other for years and over that time created a friendship that turned into a marriage. I began to think do we fall in love with the people we constantly see?

 The Proximity Crush

 After doing some digging I found out that this is totally a thing. According to the website “We long to be close to those close by, just as an infant forms an attachment with its caregiver, familiar people have a calming soothing effect on us”. So instead of searching the world for the love of your life, this article suggests that we will eventually fall in love with someone who we always see.

I thought about this over and over thinking of past loves and how they seemingly lost their “mystique” after not being around them after a while and I thought Are we really choosing our partner’s or is our surroundings choosing them for us?  And, if this is the case, is their really such a thing as true love or are we picking our life mates out of convenience?

Stay Safe
Signed, AnUrbangirl

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