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Friends with Benefits the comfortable yet confusing type of relationship that is trending in todays society. At some point a lot of us has had or will have one. Whether this relationship is with a long time friend, an ex, or someone we just met.

We can all agree that friends with benefits are the bridge connecting us back to something that we either had or are seeking.

These relationships can be fun, and exciting but I will advise no employ not to make these things long term. A long term friend with benefits relationship is not good for you, the other person, or just really all of society. LOL, im kidding about society but look these things should not last long.

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Who we are as friends are different from who we are in relationships and having a friend with benefits blurs that line.

I by no means am discouraging friend with benefits relationships but I will say there should be some ground rules set in your own individual mind before one is started as to how and when to end it. These things can get sticky (no pun intended) really quick.

Once a upon a time I made the mistake of turning a long time friend into a friend with benefits. Going in, it was something fun but looking back I regret it. We kept it going for too long. Real feelings got involved and ended a 15 year friendship. It was awkward for me, him, and our entire friendship circle. We should have stuck to drinking, partying, and hanging out together. I guess what I’m really trying to say is proceed with caution and know the relationship.

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The Reality
How long can a person be connected to somebody without some sort of feeling ,connection or obligation?

Sure we all want to act like these emotionally hardened people who can flick their feelings on and off. But any adult who has dated knows that this feat is almost impossible. Sad to say these relationships eventually wear themselves out for the exact reason it started.

Because a sexual relationship over a course of time with the same person without any emotion goes dry (a lot of pun intended).

Think im lying?  Think about an old married couple who has fell out of love with each other but continues to stay attached. Resentment creeps in, the fun gets turned off and are forced to really look at the person beyond the “benefits”. The reality is a friend with benefits relationship should be held to a certain deadline. So that you can move on into a real full time relationship either with yourself or an actual person that is compatible with you.

Below I give three signs that it is time to give your Friend with Benefits the boot and move on into something else.

Petty Arguments
About anything, it can range from “Why do you take too long to text me back”, to “Don’t lay your sh*t on my bathroom floor”.

Co-dependency
You start sharing things with them and start leaving things at their house. If you begin to actually “need” them for things outside of sex, RUN.

Secrets
Secrets about anything really. But if you feel the need to keep things that were once “public info” from them for fear that it would hurt their feelings it is time to roll.

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Have a Happy New Year
Signed, AnUrbanGirl

 

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Written by Jamya

Health & Beauty Publicist/Beauty Lover/Writer/Activist/Young Powerhouse

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