How to Spot Frenemies in Adult Friendships

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I am all for women empowerment and sticking together but there are just some women who you just have to shake your head at. While I am well aware that no one is perfect and that at some point in life each of us will have to encounter and form relationships with those we don’t like. I feel comfortable in saying there should be a reserved section in hell for those women who slither into friendships in order to destroy and manipulate it.

Society calls them frenemies and so I will reserve my right to call them by another name less appropriate.

Woman have been dealing with frenemies since the beginning of time and in our own individual lives since we can remember. We all had that childhood friend who would tell your biggest most embarrassing secret to your middle school crush. We may be in a family with them, met them during school, or work with them.

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Frenemy relationships still exist in our adult lives now more than ever. Mainly, because life always seems to bring out the worst in people who are the most insecure. 

The world will never quite know what compels a person to befriend someone they do not like. Maybe it is because  they are jealous of how awesome you are and figured they would get to know you more to see if that really is true. Whatever the case I have comprised a list of qualities that almost all frenemies display.

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They Expect for you to tell them every little detail about your life BUT NEVER TELL THEIRS

Listen, as women we are naturally sharers. We operate out of a “show and tell” game on building relationships. “You tell me some, I tell you some”. It is nothing to be ashamed of ,it is how you build trust and open up to people. One sure fire way to tell if someone is a frenemy is if they hound you to always share your personal stories but never do the same. They could say things like “oh im just a private person” or something like that. But look if they truly were private about personal business then why in the world would they want to know your business so bad.

Extremely Possessive

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They find fault in every single person you seem to connect with outside your family. They want to be your only friend. They typically get angry when you invite other friends out on “group outings”.

Paranoia
We all get into an “emotional funk” sometimes and are either really angry with the world or really sad. That is normal, it is life. But these people always assume you are angry with them for some reason or another. They take it very personal and get angry too. Don’t worry though, it is just a guilty conscious.

Super Competitive
No need for much explanation here. Everyone knows the type “You get something I MUST have it too”. That is with everything relationships, money, jobs, babies, clothes, cars the list can go on and on.

Having a  Frenemy circulating through your friend group is unhealthy. These people are jealous, insecure, and spiteful. Sure everyone has some haters but keep the haters at a distance. Life is rough enough, surround yourself with people who genuinely love and want the best for you.

Have a Happy Holiday
AnUrbanGirl