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It was 2007, I had just experienced my first heart break and I was devastated. I had previous relationships sure but this was the first time I had experienced true love in its fullness. After about a month in tears, I got up one day went to the salon and got the stylist to cut all my hair off. Soon after, I took my stress, sadness, and anger to the streets literally. I ran 4 miles every single day and about 8 months later I was about 36 pounds lighter.
Little did I know or understand what I was doing. I just knew I was different and I wanted to do things different. Me, a person who loves long flowing hair and who at that time hated running did it. This difference sparked me into diving into my college work more and where I was a year behind my peers I sped the cycle up and graduated quickly than what I thought. I began to write again and share my work. I delved into books about love and growth, picked up classes, and attended workshops about growth about personal development.
I began to change my life literally from the outside in. I looked different, felt different, spoke different, and did things different from before and it felt good.
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So there I was 20, bald-head, thinner and had more confidence than ever before. My great aunt used to say:
“When a woman changes her hair, she is ready to change her life”
I never understood what she meant, and to be honest when I was changing my appearance I had no conscious explanation for what I was doing. I just wanted to do it but I was in fact changing. Most people say that change happens from the inside out. But for me it was different ,I changed from the outside in. When I cut my hair I felt different and therefore began to act different. When I looked in the mirror I seen a different person and acted accordingly.
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This was only the beginning as the years passed
I intentionally changed my appearance and my attitude every time something dramatic happened in my life. I wanted to be in control of who I became and I wanted to have a complete understanding as to who I was becoming and why.
Life will take you down roads you will have never imagined. And it will change you with or without your consent. I decided at 20 that I may not have control over every single thing that happened in my life but I would have control over who I turned out to be because of it.
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Below I have comprised a list of rules some would call them life tips but I call them beauty bytes that I use every time life steps in and throws me a curveball.
It is okay not to be okay
Most people will tell you it is not okay to be sad, hurt, or angry. But this is so far from the truth. People need to feel hurt and angry at times, the pain wakes you up and lets you know your alive don’t run from it, build the muscle to go through it. It is going to get you ready for whatever is down the line.
“Every woman has a bit of sadness about her and that’s what makes her beautiful”
I heard this in a movie somewhere and it has always stuck with me. Every person carries a bit of sadness with them. It makes you who you are. Use that sadness as a catalyst to springboard you into a better person regardless if you are to blame or not. The lowest points in life are often the best opportunities to grow into your highest self. USE IT, DON’T LET IT USE YOU!
Shock your body
Do some sort of exercise everyday. Whether it is a walk around the block a few times. A jog up and down the staircase, something to get the blood pumping. When the human body is exercised it releases chemicals to the brain which actually enhances your mood. One of them being the chemical Serotonin, when chemicals are released it reduces symptoms of depression, decreases appetite, and actually helps with sleep.
Change the reflection
Everyday get up and do something that makes you feel beautiful. No matter how tired or how bad you feel do it. Whether it is applying your favorite lip stick, putting on your cutest shoes, or necklace . Something that you can look at, at some point of the day and say that is beautiful and I look good in it.
Do something alone that you have always did with a group
When I was 20, I couldn’t eat at a public place alone. It seems silly to me now because I do it all the time. But back then it scared me. What would people think I thought. But after a few times I actually loved it, I take myself out on “dates” all the time.
Connect to the world
Author and business expert Grant Cardone always says “You don’t have to die to find the devil, he will find you the moment you have too much idle time”
Pack your schedule. Not just with mindless things or for that fact mindless people but with activities and people that will “Grow” you. I would go to spoken word nights, writing groups, fashion shows, hair shows, plays etc. That would shift my attention away from my problems and show me that the world is still going around, and that it was time to move with it.
The beauty about being an individual is that you can change and reinvent yourself as much as you like.
Have fun molding and shaping your life, appearance and attitude
Cheers to a better, more beautiful YOU!