How To Break Your Addiction To A Person


 I let that word spin around in my mind for months as I tried to detangle all the shit I had stepped foot in over the past year. Addiction to things, situations, and relationships. Thinking, we all condemn the alcoholic or the dope fiend but do we all at some point suffer from an addiction. Do we unconsciously plant ourselves in situations, with people, in places that feed our addictions on purpose? And, if we really all are addicted to something do we consciously know and can it be healthy. Because there really isn’t any “10step programs” to break you off of toxic relationships can we really free ourselves from them forever?

I tossed and turned with my addictions and a solution. No, I wasn’t addicted to drugs ,alcohol or food. I was addicted to a certain kind of man. I was addicted to all the wrong guys, the boundary pushers, the suave charmers, the push you all the way into your feelings and then leave you high and dry kind of brothers.

I knew this, yet and still I dated them, slept with them and formulated a life with them without question. They found me opened up my veins and poisoned me with their love and I openly and willingly accepted knowing that once that high wore off I would feel terrible. And, just like any addict my addiction became worse the insatiable need for just 1 more dose pushed me into situations that compromised my sanity, economic stability, friendships, reputation and my physical safety.

How does a fiend know when enough is enough?

That is the question an addict of anything faces when they hit a low and, for me this time I not only hit a low I crashed down into it and was forced to change.

When I first started researching different kind of relationships I have always found synonyms to describe a toxic relationship but never a solid definition that I felt accurately defined what one was. So I decided to create one.

A Toxic Relationship is one that stops the natural evolution of growth (spiritual, financial, emotional), one that contaminates thoughts, feelings, actions with doubt and depression. It is a relationship that is ridden with guilt, hidden agendas, regret and secrecy.


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The process of letting is always hard. The letting go part will be harder for you than it will be for the other person. Please believe that, this process will be an act of re-training your mind to get ready for change and change will be hard AT FIRST.

Step1: Before you even utter a word out loud to the other person you must sit down and
figure out what you want from the situation with yourself.Do you want to be at
peace? Want to be Happy? Free? Do you want more independence? What is it that you
want? Make that promise to yourself to get it and follow through.

Step2: Let go! I don’t care how you do it but alert that person that it is over

If you feel like you don’t have one maybe it is because you have distanced
yourself from others to continue in this relationship. But suck it up call your
friends and family apologize and be honest. A sure sign of any toxic
relationship is secrecy, be open. Get what you need you can’t do this alone.


Now it is time to do some work. Now is the time to clean up and make amends for all that brokenness that has taken place. Just like any physical mess we create that we cleanup, it is time to clean up the emotional mess that has been created whether you feel like it was your fault or not you have to take responsibility, own it and get rid of it.

Image via Google Search

This could mean deleting and blocking them on ALL social media.
This could be removing their items from your physical space.
Deleting the texts, deleting the call logs, voicemails everything GET RID OF IT!

Now I understand that there are some people we can’t all together remove. We may share children with these people, work with them or whatever but we can remove all emotionally heavy stuff pertaining to the relationship.

Lavish yourself. If you can afford it go buy yourself those new shoes you have
been eyeing. Go grab your favorite snack, curl up and watch your favorite movie
or TV show a thousand times.
Get dressed up, go out and have some fun, laugh, be reckless.

During this process you are going to be feeling all types of stuff. Don’t get
caught up on it. Our feelings come as a reminder to us that we are alive and still
thinking rational people, accept it. Do not give any positive or negative thought
to these feelings or moods. Let them run through your mind accepting that it will
pass and let it go.

It takes practice but what you are doing is controlling your mind and once mastered
it is powerful. Do not judge the things that pop into your mind, embrace them
then let it go.


After you have Let Go, and cleaned up, now is the time to build and move on. This is the phase where those goals that you have sat down and created for yourself should start to formulate. How do you do that? Well let me give you couple ways how you can start…

While in school it was advised that we should study lessons and practice for
every test we took. With life it happens different, if you are unprepared life
will throw you the test then give you the lesson later.

While we cannot prepare for everything that life throws at us
we can predict and prepare by practicing the things we feel weak in. Temptation
always knows when to knock when we make the decision to grow. In this case that
addiction will try to walk right back into your life and start again, practice not
giving in. Literally, practice what you are going to say. Try to predict how you are
going to deal with those emotions. Who are you going to call to vent, how are you
deal with that situation because it WILL happen. Whether it is with that person, or
someone like them. Our military invests millions of dollars on training soldiers
mentally, physically and emotionally for events that has not happened yet because
they know if a solider is untrained they could be seriously hurt. PRACTICE IT MAKES

fam pic
Image via Google Search

Start to be honest with yourself and everyone else about how you wanted to be
treated. Be honest about what you really need from a relationship. Do you want your
partner to bar hop with you? Do you need a spiritual partner? Or Someone to travel
with you? We all need different things from our relationships and we owe it to
ourselves to get them. How do we get them? By being honest from day one with the
new people who come into our lives about what we want. A toxic relationships starts
by keeping secrets and hidden agendas no matter how small. So be open and willing to
be rejected. But, be strong enough to keep looking for what you really need.

Share, Like, Comment and lets start some healing.
Be Blessed Beauties


Do I Love Him? OR The Idea Of Him?

Image via theminimalists.com

When you say you love someone what does it really mean? Every time we say “I Love You” to our significant other are we really saying we love them or we love that they are there?

Nowadays the “term” dating is pretty much non-existent. To refresh the term the trial period when you first meet someone and you do activities together to see if you really like the person enough to introduce them to family and friends, and commit yourself to them. It seems that in our modern world where people are screaming less tradition and less emotion the more willing we are to throw ourselves in a serious relationship without really getting to know a person.

Is it maybe that we really want the situation and the person is irrelevant? Or is it more important to fully commit and figure the person out later on?

Image via pagedaily.com

Lately, someone asked me why I don’t have a husband yet? And I thought maybe because I wasn’t looking for one. I thought less of the term “husband” and more a life companion. Someone who enhances and matches me so much that I need the marriage or the relationship to have the person. But then I wondered am I being unrealistic? And then what about that term “you learn to love someone” is that really true? Can you learn to love someone once you fully commit to the relationship? And what if the actual person comes but they don’t fit the cookie cutter stereotype of the husband should I still commit and love that person anyway?

I wondered as we age are we settling for the title, the house, the security, and that cute couple profile picture on Facebook to have a relationship instead of real, ridiculous, time-comsuming “I can’t live without this person love”

Image via i.huffpost.com

And, if we do claim that it is love that we are feeling is it the actual love for that person or the immediate validation they give us by being “around”. Are we getting in relationships to prove that we are normal because there is someone who is always there to put up with us.

Have we become so comfortable with someone being there that we actually overlooked the actual person inside of the façade?

Happy Sunday
Signed, AnUrbanGirl


When The Wrong Relationship Holds You Hostage

fam pic
Image via stacksmag.net
When we are young we are taught to watch out for “strangers”. You know people who we don’t know who are unlike us who might come around to take us hostage or inflict some type of pain on us. But as we grow older, wiser and more aware of the world the less we seem to be on look out for these “strange people”.

We seem to throw away the notion of strangers believing that we can defend ourselves against anyone who comes to try and hold us hostage or inflict pain on us. However, no one seems to inform us that as we grow up  “strangers” still exist and never stop seeking us. When the reality is, as adults we should always be on the look out for strangers because the older we get the more swift and sly their tactics become.
Image via Google search

Granted for all intensive purposes I am not talking about predators, serial killers, or anything like that. In this article I am talking about strange people you meet in your adult life who mean you no good, and who are unlike you. They dress themselves up in familiar clothing like love, and seemingly stable relationships. All the while snatching you from a sense of security, confidence, stability, dreams, goals, and most importantly your sense of happiness.

We all encounter a situation with a stranger at some point in life. Mine slid into my life at the age of 21 and help me hostage for 6 years. My stranger was suave, had a great personality and was fine. Sweeping me away from my reality into his own.

 Being in the wrong relationship will hold you hostage from your happiness.

A “stranger” skilled in their craft will snatch you out of your element before you can blink. Blinding your vision with their so-called version of love. The positive things that once mattered before begin to disappear and are instead replaced with more and more negative versions of them and the relationship. Literally, pieces of “your”-self will begin to disappear and you will begin to look, feel, and act like someone different. Trust me, we become more like the people we surround ourselves with than we realize.

rihanna navy
Image via Google Search

Not by choice though, and almost always never by your intent. In a previous post I wrote about “Frienemies” being bad for your life, However having a mate (who is not your kind) is even more fatal. They will envy every single thing that makes you unique. Because, the crazy thing is your uniqueness is what attracted them to you and if they can dim that they can eventually move on feeling validated. It is a never ending battle to be yourself with strangers because your individuality drives them crazy.

Image via Pinterest

In reality, falling in love should never bring a lack it should bring more of what you already are. I kno the saying that goes “opposites attract” and I believe it. Sure, positive magnets attracts negative ones but that should be where it stops.The truth is the person for you will have a similar heart that will simultaneously beat around the same things as yours and will bring out more love and happiness than you could have brought on your own.

Be Safe, and Stay Away From Strangers
Happy New Year


Just Like A Wardrobe, Friend with Benefits Relationships Should Change With The Seasons


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Friends with Benefits the comfortable yet confusing type of relationship that is trending in todays society. At some point a lot of us has had or will have one. Whether this relationship is with a long time friend, an ex, or someone we just met.

We can all agree that friends with benefits are the bridge connecting us back to something that we either had or are seeking.

These relationships can be fun, and exciting but I will advise no employ not to make these things long term. A long term friend with benefits relationship is not good for you, the other person, or just really all of society. LOL, im kidding about society but look these things should not last long.

Image via Google Search

Who we are as friends are different from who we are in relationships and having a friend with benefits blurs that line.

I by no means am discouraging friend with benefits relationships but I will say there should be some ground rules set in your own individual mind before one is started as to how and when to end it. These things can get sticky (no pun intended) really quick.

Once a upon a time I made the mistake of turning a long time friend into a friend with benefits. Going in, it was something fun but looking back I regret it. We kept it going for too long. Real feelings got involved and ended a 15 year friendship. It was awkward for me, him, and our entire friendship circle. We should have stuck to drinking, partying, and hanging out together. I guess what I’m really trying to say is proceed with caution and know the relationship.

Image via Google Search

The Reality
How long can a person be connected to somebody without some sort of feeling ,connection or obligation?

Sure we all want to act like these emotionally hardened people who can flick their feelings on and off. But any adult who has dated knows that this feat is almost impossible. Sad to say these relationships eventually wear themselves out for the exact reason it started.

Because a sexual relationship over a course of time with the same person without any emotion goes dry (a lot of pun intended).

Think im lying?  Think about an old married couple who has fell out of love with each other but continues to stay attached. Resentment creeps in, the fun gets turned off and are forced to really look at the person beyond the “benefits”. The reality is a friend with benefits relationship should be held to a certain deadline. So that you can move on into a real full time relationship either with yourself or an actual person that is compatible with you.

Below I give three signs that it is time to give your Friend with Benefits the boot and move on into something else.

Petty Arguments
About anything, it can range from “Why do you take too long to text me back”, to “Don’t lay your sh*t on my bathroom floor”.

You start sharing things with them and start leaving things at their house. If you begin to actually “need” them for things outside of sex, RUN.

Secrets about anything really. But if you feel the need to keep things that were once “public info” from them for fear that it would hurt their feelings it is time to roll.

Image via Google Search

Have a Happy New Year
Signed, AnUrbanGirl



How to Spot Frenemies in Adult Friendships

fam pic
Photo via Google Search

I am all for women empowerment and sticking together but there are just some women who you just have to shake your head at. While I am well aware that no one is perfect and that at some point in life each of us will have to encounter and form relationships with those we don’t like. I feel comfortable in saying there should be a reserved section in hell for those women who slither into friendships in order to destroy and manipulate it.

Society calls them frenemies and so I will reserve my right to call them by another name less appropriate.

Woman have been dealing with frenemies since the beginning of time and in our own individual lives since we can remember. We all had that childhood friend who would tell your biggest most embarrassing secret to your middle school crush. We may be in a family with them, met them during school, or work with them.

Photo via Google Search

Frenemy relationships still exist in our adult lives now more than ever. Mainly, because life always seems to bring out the worst in people who are the most insecure. 

The world will never quite know what compels a person to befriend someone they do not like. Maybe it is because  they are jealous of how awesome you are and figured they would get to know you more to see if that really is true. Whatever the case I have comprised a list of qualities that almost all frenemies display.

Photo via Google Search

They Expect for you to tell them every little detail about your life BUT NEVER TELL THEIRS

Listen, as women we are naturally sharers. We operate out of a “show and tell” game on building relationships. “You tell me some, I tell you some”. It is nothing to be ashamed of ,it is how you build trust and open up to people. One sure fire way to tell if someone is a frenemy is if they hound you to always share your personal stories but never do the same. They could say things like “oh im just a private person” or something like that. But look if they truly were private about personal business then why in the world would they want to know your business so bad.

Extremely Possessive

Photo via Google Search

They find fault in every single person you seem to connect with outside your family. They want to be your only friend. They typically get angry when you invite other friends out on “group outings”.

We all get into an “emotional funk” sometimes and are either really angry with the world or really sad. That is normal, it is life. But these people always assume you are angry with them for some reason or another. They take it very personal and get angry too. Don’t worry though, it is just a guilty conscious.

Super Competitive
No need for much explanation here. Everyone knows the type “You get something I MUST have it too”. That is with everything relationships, money, jobs, babies, clothes, cars the list can go on and on.

Having a  Frenemy circulating through your friend group is unhealthy. These people are jealous, insecure, and spiteful. Sure everyone has some haters but keep the haters at a distance. Life is rough enough, surround yourself with people who genuinely love and want the best for you.

Have a Happy Holiday



The Quarter-Life Crisis of Moving on…….

Image via dinastuti.blogspot.com

I once read a quote that said if you aren’t losing people you aren’t growing.
As I began to think on that thought I realized that losing people and situations not only helps you grow but it moves you on to the next stage of life.

Losing everything makes you who are.

When growing up we are shrouded in a circle of friends, family, teachers, classmates, co-workers, activities,and obligations. Every second of everyday somebody or something is telling and defining who you are for you. The constant chatter of someone else’s drama and life experiences drowns out your own. We stay and keep people and experiences in our lives because somewhere along the line we were taught that is “the right thing”. It is not till we are stripped bare that we begin to hear our own voice and understand ourselves.

Becoming too attached to a certain way of life can block the lessons that are meant to be learned.

It took these last four rough years of life post-grad, four shitty jobs, a loss of almost all of my core friend group, and two emotionally taxing relationships later to realize that the only “right thing to do” was hit the reset button and move on.

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It takes peeling back the layers, rubbing off the makeup, and a removing of the shades moment to discover a better, brighter more beautiful version of yourself. Despite the fear, shame, and disappointment of others.

What I discovered is that life is nothing but a constant act of pressing the  reset button. Moving on then becomes a time in which to check in, edit, improve and create a better version of yourself and surroundings. We must never stop moving on and never stop changing.



Happy Holidays Beauties
Signed, AnUrbanGirl


Strength In The Struggle

Frederick Douglas once said ….
“Without a struggle there can be no progress”.

Nobody likes to struggle. Struggles are heartbreaking ,draining ,embarrassing, compromising,and painful. However, struggles are a necessary part of life. They are designed to build you up not break you down.

The struggle is nothing but a bridge leading to the path of becoming who you are meant to be.

I tremble with anger when I hear people give advice to someone who is sad or angry. Telling them to change their emotions to “cheer up” or to “snap out of it”. True, at some point we do need to “snap” our emotions back out of a negative state. However, being sad, angry, and fed-up is beneficial for growth. If I never struggled from paycheck to paycheck I would have never  had the sense to pursue higher incomes. If i never struggled through an unhealthy relationship I would have never left. If I never struggled in my environment I would have never had the courage to fight for a new one.

We must not run away from life struggles we must run into them BOLDLY.

Every time you  quit on strengthening yourself in the midst of your struggle you are basically building the muscle to quit every time life throws you a curveball. In the struggle you will find the strength and purpose to endure and excel throughout life. Knowing that, that anger and sadness is purposeful and it is building you up for what is next.

Like getting back in shape after being out of shape for a long time. In the beginning the body is sore, and tired. You look foolish, after awhile you get fustrated that the results arent showing up fast. But the more you go through the workouts the more you push through the soreness, the more obessive you become about becoming healther the stronger you start to become.

Become strong through your struggle. USE IT as a catalyst to push you to your best self. There is strength in a struggle you just have to take off your shades to see it.  

Have a great week
BmorePRgirl 😊



Nature’s Secret Arsenal Round Three: Tea Tree Oil

It seems like nature is skipping over spring and heading right into summer. No need to worry though because in this series “Nature’s Arsenal” I will supply you all with a summer treat that will preserve your beauty even in the heat. Nature supplies us with a cool summery treat that comes in the form of Tea Tree Oil.

Photo via The Body Shop

Tea Tree oil is a concentrated plant oil from the leaves of a tree native to Australian coastal areas. The tree is known as Melaleuca alternifolia (or tea tree) and is a member of the myrtle family. The oil is distilled into the air through a steam process and used on the skin as an herbal remedy.

Photo via naturallycurly.com

Tea Tree Oil is used a natural antiseptic and fights germs. Although it cannot and should not be eaten it proven effective for

.Cuts & Abrasions
.Insect Bites

Tea Tree Oil can also be added to vaporizers and bath water to treat coughs, and  bronchial congestion.

Skin & Hair
Photo via healinganswers.com

Tea Tree Oil disinfects pores and dries out pimples

This stuff works wonders for acne because of its ability to break down blockages between the skin and sebaceous glands (sweat glands).

Tea Tree Oil deep cleans the hair and scalp

Tea Tree oil contains moisturizing properties that helps treat dandruff and dry scalp. The oil deep cleans hair working to get rid of dirt. Tea Tree oil also has a refreshing scent which I absolutely adore during the summer months.

So by now you are probably wondering where to get this invaluable product and how to use it.

Tea Tree Oil when in its original form is very strong and should be diluted before use. There are plenty brands that already do this like The Body Shop, and Lush. My personal fave hair treatment that I have used for about ten years now is Paul Mitchell’s Tea Tree Oil shampoo . This stuff works wonders for my hair during the summer months.

Stay Cool and Cute this summer by going to grab some Tea Tree Oil.








Spring Clean YOUR FACE!

Photo via kandy-sweet.ru

It is that time of the year when we put away those winter things and start anew. It is time to clean and no I am not talking about your house. I am talking about that FACE!

Yes, it is time to freshen up your skin tone and restore your “Glow”

Photo via Funnyjunk.com

I know your like, TELL ME HOW! I will, but you have to do it just like I tell you.

Photo via cdn.pg.everyday.com

The first step in restoring your glow for spring will be to exfoliate the skin. Exfoliation removes dead skin. We are always growing new skin cells and shedding old ones. It is important that we assist our skin in removing it. Exfoliation products are sold at almost any beauty supply store and, how you will purchase it is according to your skin type (oily, dry, or combination).

Leave skin slightly damp and apply exfoliant. Gently if you have dry skin but a little vigourus if you have oily skin. Apply and rub in circular motions to every area avoiding areas under or over eyes. Then wipe off with a warm cloth.

Photo via bdotlog.betacellnique.com
Steam ahhhh! I love to steam it is a great way to suck the dirt that is hiding inside your pores out. Just like carpet is steamed the skin needs to be steamed to remove dirt and residual soap scum.

The cheapest and most effective way if you dont own a facial steamer is to boil a medium to large sized pot of water on the stove. Once it is brought to a boil turn the heat off, grab a towel, throw it over your head and stand directly over the pot. Close your eyes and let the heat do its work, 5-7 mins will work. However, I usually do this until the water cools.

At this point the dead skin should have been removed and all the dirt and oil should have been sucked out

Photo via akamommagazine.com
Once the skin has been stripped it needs to moisturized. However, since the temperature is warmer a lighter moisturizer is needed.

Have a happy spring beautiful people!


When A Woman Changes Her Appearance She Is Ready To Change Her Life

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Picture via Tinybudda.com

It was 2007, I had just experienced my first heart break and I was devastated. I had previous relationships sure but this was the first time I had experienced true love in its fullness. After about a month in tears, I got up one day went to the salon and got the stylist to cut all my hair off. Soon after, I took my stress, sadness, and anger to the streets literally. I ran 4 miles every single day and about 8 months later I was about 36 pounds lighter.

Little did I know or understand what I was doing. I just knew I was different and I wanted to do things different. Me, a person who loves long flowing hair and who at that time hated running did it. This difference sparked me into diving into my college work more and where I was a year behind my peers I sped the cycle up and graduated quickly than what I thought. I began to write again and share my work. I delved into books about love and growth, picked up classes,  and attended workshops about growth about personal development.
I began to change my life literally from the outside in. I looked different, felt different, spoke different, and did things different from before and it felt good.
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Picture via Pinterest
So there I was 20, bald-head, thinner and had more confidence than ever before. My great aunt used to say:

“When a woman changes her hair, she is ready to change her life”

I never understood what she meant, and to be honest when I was changing my appearance I had no conscious explanation for what I was doing. I just wanted to do it but I was in fact changing. Most people say that change happens from the inside out. But for me it was different ,I changed from the outside in. When I cut my hair I felt different and therefore began to act different. When I looked in the mirror I seen a different person and acted accordingly.
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Picture via Pinterest
This was only the beginning as the years passed
I intentionally changed my appearance and my attitude every time something dramatic happened in my life. I wanted to be in control of who I became and I wanted to have a complete understanding as to who I was becoming and why.

Life will take you down roads you will have never imagined. And it will change you with or without your consent. I decided at 20 that I may not have control over every single thing that happened in my life but I would have control over who I turned out to be because of it.
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Picture via Pinterest

Below I have comprised a list of rules some would call them life tips but I call them beauty bytes that I use every time life steps in and throws me a curveball.

It is okay not to be okay
Most people will tell you it is not okay to be sad, hurt, or angry. But this is so far from the truth. People need to feel hurt and angry at times, the pain wakes you up and lets you know your alive don’t run from it, build the muscle to go through it. It is going to get you ready for whatever is down the line.

“Every woman has a bit of sadness about her and that’s what makes her beautiful”
I heard this in a movie somewhere and it has always stuck with me. Every person carries a bit of sadness with them. It makes you who you are. Use that sadness as a catalyst to springboard you into a better person regardless if you are to blame or not. The lowest points in life are often the best opportunities to grow into your highest self. USE IT, DON’T LET IT USE YOU!

Shock your body
Do some sort of exercise everyday. Whether it is a walk around the block a few times. A jog up and down the staircase, something to get the blood pumping. When the human body is exercised it releases chemicals to the brain which actually enhances your mood. One of them being the chemical Serotonin, when chemicals are released it reduces symptoms of depression, decreases appetite, and actually helps with sleep.

Change the reflection
Everyday get up and do something that makes you feel beautiful. No matter how tired or how bad you feel do it. Whether it is applying your favorite lip stick,  putting on your cutest shoes, or necklace . Something that you can look at, at some point of the day and say that is beautiful and I look good in it.

Do something alone that you have always did with a group
When I was 20, I couldn’t eat at a public place alone. It seems silly to me now because I do it all the time. But back then it scared me. What would people think I thought. But after a few times I actually loved it, I take myself out on “dates” all the time.

Connect to the world
Author and business expert Grant Cardone always says “You don’t have to die to find the devil, he will find you the moment you have too much idle time”
Pack your schedule. Not just with mindless things or for that fact mindless people but with activities and people that will “Grow” you. I would go to spoken word nights, writing groups, fashion shows, hair shows, plays etc. That would shift my attention away from my problems and show me that the world is still going around, and that it was time to move with it.

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Picture via Pinterest

The beauty about being an individual is that you can change and reinvent yourself as much as you like.

Have fun molding and shaping your life, appearance and attitude
Cheers to a better, more beautiful YOU!


“ORGANIC” Is not a bad word: An all Health Edition


Photo found via Pinterest
When I was about seven I hated carrots no one could get me to eat them. Until one day my aunt told me that they will help me to have long lashes and “beautiful eyes” needless to say i’ve been a fan ever since. It was then that I began my journey of understanding the direct benefits food has on health and beauty. I have always been physically active in sports but struggled with my weight . Therefore, I have been forced to look at my eating habits in proportion to weight. For me the exciting part is finding out how the food I put inside my body directly affects my health and beauty.

Photo by Amazon
While in college, I was so fascinated with health, and the human body that I took on several “extra” health classes for fun, I aced them all. I was hungry to learn about health, weight loss and the direct benefits on the body. I was so enthused I brought books tons of them and read them. I learned how things as simple as your diet could affect every aspect of your life from your attitude to your sleep, to how bright or dull the skin looks, connecting the dots with what I have learned from my cosmetology training I found that what you eat can and will directly affect HOW YOU LOOK!

However, I still struggled with what I should eat, and how I should eat it. Not until I picked up the book Rich Food Poor Food. As reality starts to set in as I near the end of my “Roaring Twenties” I cant help but to face the fact that I will have this body until I die and how I take care of it will be the determiner of whether I live a healthy life or a sick one.

I was compelled to write this blog because I want to share with people what I have learned and it is my hope to not only share but maybe in someway help you understand how simply changing your attitude toward food can make all the difference in your life as it did mine

The book “Rich Food Poor Food was recommended to me and now I recommend it to you. This book changed my life and it will change yours as well.
Photo found on Pinterest

First things first, the term “Organic” carries such a bad connotation. Alot of people protest “I WILL NOT EAT NONE OF THAT ORGANIC STUFF” without really taking the time to understand what it really is. So, I will first define it,  according to Merriam Webster’s dictionary the term Organic means Food produced with the use of feed or fertilizer of plant or animal origin without employment of chemically formulated fertilizers, growth stimulants, antibiotics, or pesticides”

Simply put Organic food is food that is DEVOID of all chemicals, and drugs. It is food that is grown the all natural way.

So u might ask is all food that is not organic have chemicals and drugs in it? 
I am answering YES, yes it does.
Everyday we consume hundreds of chemicals without even knowing it.

Organic food vs. Artificial Food
inspiration 1
Photo via Pinterest

Conventionally Grown and Organically Grown KNOW the DIFFERENCE!
 I will tell you right now, the supermarket giants the ones that are everywhere will most likely not have  “Organic” fruits, veggies, snacks, meats etc. They will have Conventionally Grown products which are cheaper for them to buy, and turn a bigger profit for them to sell. So you might have to go to your local Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, MoM’s Organic Market, or Farmer’s Market (farmer’s markets is cheapest to get the good stuff).

Conventionally Grown products are fruits and vegetables which have been grown with the use of (synthetic NOT natural) pesticides, antibiotics, hormones and, fertilizers.

While in the market is see “Pesticide Washes” which help wash away the pesticides present on the surface of fruits and veggies. However, these things have been “grown” with synthetic fertilizers so it still has hormones, antibiotics, and pesticides in its makeup.

*Term To Know: GMO*

The Price Myth
It is true Organic products are more expensive than non-organic products. While I am often angered by this fact, it makes sense to me. Most quality items whether it is food, clothing, TV, phone, or a service comes with a heftier price.
However, think about it like this….
fam pic
Photo via Pinterest
All Organic food may not be in budget for large families with a lot of mouths to feed. But, there is a solution for this. Every year the Environmental Working Group actually goes out and does a study on which fruits and veggies have the most chemicals inside them. They have named them “The Dirty Dozen”. They also comprise a list of the fruits and veggies with the least chemicals present. They call this list “The Clean Fifteen” I have provided both below.

*Tip if you are going to buy stuff from the Dirty Dozen list, buy it in organic. Then if you want to buy stuff from the Clean Fifteen list buy in conventional. For people that don’t have a big food budget and for large families a good blog to follow for tips, and money-saving tricks is The Humbled Homemaker.

 The Shopper’s Guide to Pesticides in Produce™ will help you determine which fruits and vegetables have the most pesticide residues and are the most important to buy organic. You can lower your pesticide intake by avoiding the 12 most contaminated fruits and vegetables and choosing the least contaminated produce.

.Cherry Tomatoes
.Hot Peppers
.Sweet Bell Peppers
Kale/Collard Greens
Summer Squash

. Avocados
. Cabbage
. Cantaloupe
. Sweet Corn
. Grapefruit
 . Kiwi
. Mangos
. Mushrooms
. Onions
. Pineapples
Sweet Peas – Frozen
Sweet Potatoes

Photo found via Instagram

The Wilder the Better
I have went over a lot about fruits and veggies. However, lets not forget about the meat. Think WILD! That’s right, major companies are trying to duplicate “traditional farms” with “factory farms”.

What is a Factory Farm?

“a system of rearing livestock using intensive methods, by which poultry, pigs, or cattle are confined indoors under strictly controlled conditions.”

Why would large companies do this? FOR PROFIT. They raise animals indoors pumping them with steroids, antibiotics, and feeding them GMO (genetically modified) food. This is unnatural, these animals are often mutated, sick, and weak. They are not getting appropriate food, and activity which other animals on “traditional farms” are getting and it affects their insides. What do we eat THEIR INSIDES. So, it is really important to get meat labeled…..
rihanna navy
Photos via Google Search
animals who have been raised in their natural habitat, given food that they require produce meats that have all the nutrients that we eat meat for. Again, regular supermarkets will not have this stuff, a farmers market or health food market will.
I cannot leave out eggs, an abundant source of protein. The same goes, look for eggs from chickens that come from a Real Farm, and who have been fed a “Chicken diet”. These chickens produce the best eggs with the most nutrients. Look for…..
Photo via ThePaleoMama

How to Market
I will admit, I hate food markets. I dread going, so I make a list and try to get in and out as fast as I can. The book “Rich Food, Poor Food is superb with this technique of how to navigate a market.

First things First: The Layout
Every market is laid almost in the exact same way. All “Fresh Foods”, the things you really need are always going to be in the perimeter of the market. So Start there walk the outside of the market, like walking in a “U-shape”. Pick up your fresh fruits, veggies, meats, eggs, and bread. After you have done that, half the work is done. You have successfully gotten what your body needs most.

The Middle
This is where all of the snacks, over processed foods, and unhealthy stuff is most likely going to be, so beware. In an effort to avoid harmful products, and stay away from chemicals every item you pick up look directly at the “INGREDIENTS LIST” first. Never mind the nutritional facts portion because it is an advertising tool used to emphasize key words to draw you away from what is really in it. The pictures below will show what the typical mass-produced supposedly “healthy” snack looks like.
photo (9)
See, I am looking at it and it says all the right things, right? But take a closer look…
photo (10)
Nothing, with all these ingredients can be healthy. This is a prime example of an over-processed health gimmick, filled with genetically modified ingredients (GMO), and harmful un-natural products which will actually rob your body of the nutrients it needs.

Here is a tip, stick to buying products with stuff on the ingredients list you can pronounce (butter, sugar, etc). Leave that alien food alone, and stick to what you can recognize. If you are looking for an all organic (I hope you are) snack, with all natural ingredients look for these labels. These labels are certifiable by the FDA to be tested and proven to be safe.
Photos via Google Search

It is my hope that you now have a better understanding of the phrase “organic”.
It is a lifestyle, not a diet. I hope you all begin to fall in love with real food as I have, It is a journey of learning, and re-learning that is enlightening and empowering. YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR BODY and your life.
Happy Shopping

















Nature’s Secret Arsenal Round Two: Yogurt

Yogurt, what is it?
Photo By: eatbydate.com

Yogurt is a Turkish word meaning “To thicken”. In other words, yogurt is milk with added bacteria. Don’t squirm though about the bacteria, our body needs it.
When shopping for yogurt skip all those fruit infused, candy like deserts, and shoot straight for plain yogurt with “Live Active Cultures” on the back label. This is the ONLY yogurt that will help with what I am going to guide you through. You can add your sweetness in later but always go with plain white yogurt with “Live Active Cultures” inside.

Since I was young, I remember hearing the older folks talk about the benefits of yogurt. When I started my first job I seen them pack it for lunch, I just didn’t understand it. I hated yogurt, it was sour and tasteless. Until my doctor told me about the endless benefits of it. Which set me on a path, I thought if it is good for inside the body it has to be good for the outside as well.

I will quickly give a rundown of another one of natures secret weapons given to naturally help preserve our beauty.

“In a 2011 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, one hundred twenty adults were followed for two decades. Those who ate one cup of yogurt a day spooned their way thin.”~ Rich Food Poor Food

Photo By liftingrevolution.com

Yes, Yogurt can help you trim the pounds. However, watch out not all yogurts are the same. The most plain, white, thick yogurt in the market will most likely be the healthiest. When shopping for yogurt look at the back label, under the ingredients list and look for “Contains active cultures”, “Active yogurt cultures”. Otherwise, it has been drained out in the pasteurizing process.  

Live Active Cultures Work Wonders
According to Jayson and Mira Calton in their book “Rich Food, Poor Food”  these active culture may help prevent gastrointestinal conditions like diarrhea, constipation, lactose intolerance, and inflammatory bowel disease. Yogurt also, wards off yeast infections, increases metabolism, and prevents allergy symptoms.

Photo By: Buzzle.com

Blemishes, Dark Spots, and Discoloration
Yogurt is rich in zinc which lightens skin complexion. Which is perfect for erasing blemishes, dark circles under eyes, and an uneven skin tone.
Just apply a thin layer to affected area everyday for 15-20 minutes until skin improves. Again, plain white, thick yogurt with “live active cultures”.

Photo From: i.huffpost.com

I can go on and on about how good yogurt is for hair, but I stick to the basics for now

Dandruff/Itchy Scalp:
Yogurt has a “cooling effect” which alleviates the sensation of itching. It also contains natural anti-bacterial and antifungal properties which helps get rid of dandruff.

Again, Yogurt is packed full of moisture which is great for dry hair. Simply apply to hair from root to tip. Cover with a plastic cap for 25-30 minutes, and then wash out.

I hope you all found this helpful
Happy Shopping


The difference between Day make-up and Night Make-up and the Technology that will help you.

There is a BIG misconception going around that makeup has to be bold, multi-colored and overdone. This NEEDS to die. I wear makeup all the time and people dont even know. They always say “You have a glow”, I tell them “Hunny  it is a bronzer”.

A lot of women wear makeup and only pros can tell. People who are adverse to makeup typically think of a “Night Time look”. But there is a distinct difference between a “Day” and a “Night” look.

Some people will say “Well makeup is makeup”, and a person like me will look at them and gasp. Just like a woman should have a different outfit for a different occasion, those who wear makeup should have the same. One wouldnt wear a bodycon dress to a job interview, well, unless they were working at a night club. But lets not get off topic here.

There is a time and I will say “face” for everything.

So you ask what are the differences between Day Makeup and Night Makeup?
Well, that is why I’m here silly.

Day Makeup: Day make up is what it says it is “Day”. It is meant to enhance the face to look fresh and bright. The makeup is light, mainly because it is on for long periods of time. Typically used when going to work or to run errands.  It highlights cheekbones and brightens eyes giving the face  a “fresh glow”. Colors like pinks, peaches, browns, and gold work well.

Apply eye liner lightly around the eyes to make them appear bigger and brighter, but not too much. The “cat eye” typically doesn’t work well because it will start to crease.

Night Makeup: Night Makeup is more dramatic. It can transform  the face if you want it to. You can “Vamp” yourself up, “Seduce” yourself out, or show how creative you can get with different color palettes and blending.

At Night, Makeup has to be applied in thicker amounts because it is darker and there is little to no light. I love red at night. Typically, unless you work at night the makeup will be on for a shorter amount of time and won’t fade.

Thank God for Technology!
A few years ago picking out makeup was a guessing game. Now I can quickly download an app to take the guess work out of it and help save me money and time. Two things I can never have enough of.

I have hooked you all up with some cool apps that have helped me with my day and night looks before stepping in a store or clicking on a website.

Beauty Mark
bday pic
Image From beautymarkapp.com

Beauty Mark is my fav. This app gives the user the options of different types of makeup styles. Once the user clicks on one it takes you through skin tone, and mixes and matches lip colors, eye shadows, blushes etc. Once you have a look together that you love you can click on “How to” videos and figure out how to apply the technique yourself.

bday pic
Image from blog.fashiondistrict.it

Glamzy is another fav of mine. This  app is a one stop shop, not only can you create a look but you can find out what brands like M.A.C, Make Up Forever, and YvesSaintLaurent to purchase to fit the look you created. They also show what kinds and types of makeup brushes to use.

I hope you all found this helpful


Nature’s Secret Arsenal Round One: Coconut Oil

Nature is so amazing. Sometimes as a society we try go to duplicate or even improve on what has already been perfected. Cosmetics companies have worked wonders with new and mind blowing products to preserve beauty. However, sometimes it is reassuring to know that nature already provides us with secret weapons to help us stay young, vibrant, healthy and of course beautiful.

Over the next few weeks I will unleash  Nature’s Secret Arsenal of products that will blow your mind and conserve your beauty. This week l explore Coconut Oil.
bday pic
Photo by cooktj.com

Last winter I browsed the internet looking for an “all natural” conditioner for my  dry hair. Much to my amazement I kept coming across coconut oil. So I decided to do my research. What I found blew my mind. Not only could I use this for my hair, I could use it for almost anything. Amazed, I rushed to Trader Joe’s and brought $7 dollar bottle of “Organic Virgin Coconut Oil“. It was in that moment that my obsession began.

Not only is coconut oil good for hair it is also good inside and outside the body. I just couldn’t keep this information to myself. Tell me what girl wouldn’t love or need a “multi-purpose” beauty product?

So here is a quick rundown of why everyone needs a jar of this inside their home.

This guide is broken into three different categories; Hair, Skin, and Health.
It is my hope that after reading this you too will fall in love with coconut oil and, grab yourself a bottle.

Coconut Oil is a Hair Tamer
bday pic
Photo By Themetapicture.com

 Deep Conditioner: Scoop a handful inside the palm of your hand while it is still cold and apply to hair from root to tips. Place a shower cap on and let the oil melt into your hair. Leave on for an hour or two and I promise you will feel the difference.

De-Frizzer: Some of us have more split ends than we care to admit or unusually frizzy hair. Let coconut oil melt into a clear liquid (this can be done by putting the jar under warm water) pour into a water bottle. Spray a little on hair and smooth.

For Skin the list goes on and on and on
bday pic
Photo By allwomenneeds.com

Lotion: A small amount  applied continuously keeps skin moisturized all day long. (In the winter I apply a small amount to my face and lips at night. I also apply to my feet after I shower at night as well. I put on warm socks and leave on all night. I have yet to see ash on my feet all winter especially between pedicures).

Acne Dissolver: When applied regularly fades acne blemishes.

Shave Cream: Ladies, applying this as a shave cream makes the skin so soft
and reduces cuts.

Makeup Remover: I usually apply this to my eyes to remove makeup because it is all natural and that area is sensitive. I simply apply a
tiny size enough to fit onto my index finger and gently wipe mascara and eye shadow off with a cloth

The lists go on and on for skin.
For more info get check wellnessmama.com, and wellandgoodnyc.com

Coconut is Good Health Approved
bday pic
Photo By sunwarrior.com

Weight Loss: Virgin Organic Coconut Oil contains “Good Fatty Acids” which when used in place of lard, butter, canola oils in cooking can replenish foods with nutrients that promote weight loss.

Allergies and Energy: Taking a small amount daily can improve allergies and stimulate energy.

Medicine: A spoonful taken daily when sick can speed recovery time of cold
and flu.

The List goes on and on for the benefits of this stuff. Don’t take my word for it though. Click on some of the highlighted words throughout this guide for more in depth knowledge.

Let’s fall in love with what nature has given us
Happy Shopping Beauty Warriors.


Everyone Won’t Accept Your Version of Pretty

“The secret to beauty is simple, be who you are”- Bobbi Brown

I never learned to ride a bike or swim. I learned how to win pageants. By the time I finished third grade I knew how to correctly apply make-up, maintain a hair-do, and how to win people over with charm and wit in a speech. I didnt know if that was right or wrong, I just knew I loved it. From that age I had “grown-ups” telling me how wrong I was. That wearing lip gloss, blush and Shirley temple curls meant that I would have low self confidence when I got older.

As I got older, I fell in love with the beauty industry more and more. I realized how wrong they were, people would say “you dont have to wear make-up and stuff your pretty you know” , my reply would always be “I kno”. I never felt cocky I just always felt like I was being myself.

Later on in my life I watched those same people fall in love with what I had at 9 years old. I hear woman say all the time “If your hair is fake, and you have on make-up a man will only love that view” but my response will always be “why you would you allow yourself to fall for somebody that shallow?” Do what you love, dress and change your appearance as much as
you want if that is what you love.

However,if you are doing all of this to gain someone’s attention outside of your self than you my dear have already lost the battle. Be who you are the right person will love you from the inside out. Never change the person inside, stick by yourself and become a beauty warrior.

What is your definition of true Beauty?